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1.
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Put My Head Through A TV And Watch Me |
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2.
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Have The World's Hottest And Horniest Girls Lay Naked Covered In Money And Set Up Landmines Around Them So That I Step On One When Running Over T |
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3.
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Gag Me With A Spoon Until I Hurl Up All My Internal Organs |
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4.
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Play An Atypical Game Of Pin The Tail On The Donkey Blindfolded, And I'm The Donkey! |
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5.
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Put An Awesome CD On So That I Headbang So Hard My Head Snaps Off My Neck Like A Pencil |
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6.
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Put Me In Prison So That When I Try To Escape I Get Caught In The Guard Tower's Spotlight And They Shoot Me |
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7.
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Decapitate Me With A Gnarly Battle Axe |
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8.
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Take Me To A Racidal Concert, When I Stagedive Everyone Will Move Out Of The Way. Also, There Just Happens To Be Spikes Set Up On The Floor In That Ex |
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9.
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Tell God How Bogus Or Mental I Think He Is So That He Smites Me With Lightning |
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10.
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Tell The Devil How Excellent I Think He Is So That He Strikes Me With Lightning |
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11.
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Set Up Spikes On The Sidewalk, My Hair Is So Long That I'll Trip Over It And Land On The Spikes |
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12.
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Cut Down A Jumbo Redwood Tree Right Next To Me |
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13.
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Bring Me To A Barber Shop Where The Dude Is Drunk So That His Hand Slips And Cuts My Head Off |
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14.
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Throw A Banana Peel On The Floor At The Foot Court In The Mall So That I Slip On It While Trying To Roller Skate, Upon Impact My Skull Shatters Like G |
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15.
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Put Me In An Arcade Game So I Get Chased By A 8-Bit Ninja |
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16.
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Put Me In A Gnarly Spaceship And Send Me To Planet Kron Von So I Get Attacked By Dorkords And Gluegords |
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17.
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Slit My Vein, It's Tubular |
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18.
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Tell Some Bodaciously Busty Babes To Stand On The Other Side Of The Road So That I'm Distracted While Crossing And Some Dillhole In A Van Runs Me Over |
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19.
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Bring Me To A Momentous Party Lurking With Creeps So When I'm Not Looking Someone Shoots Aids-Infested Dickwad Into My Beverage |
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20.
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Wedge A Detonation Devide That Explodes Upon Semen-Contact Up My Buttocks And Then Cross-Dress Me So That Some Dude Thinks I'm A Dudette And Tries To |
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21.
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Lace My Scrumptious Soda Pop With Arsenic |
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22.
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Lace The Highschool Pizza With Mega-Toxic Waste So That My Teachers And Classmates Become Space-Mutants Hellbent On Canceling The Return Of Christ By |
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23.
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Print Me Into Money |
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24.
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Loosen The Screws On My Skateboard So That The Wheels Break Off Causing Me To Fall And Smear My Face Onto The Road Only To Be Licked Up By Dogs |
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25.
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Give Me Heroin |
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26.
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Mutilate My Guts With A Majestic Chainsaw Of Fury |
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27.
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Put A 50 Ways Album On The Turntable And Crank It So Loud That My Eyes Bug Out And My Mental Brain Bursts Into Gore That Resembles Confetti Laced With |
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28.
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Put Me In A Cannon And Shoot Me Into A Brick Wall |
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29.
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Churn Me Into Cream |
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30.
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Frame Me For Murder So That I'm Forced To Sit In An Electric Chair That Will Make Me Into A Black Skeleton With Spiky Hair |
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31.
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Blast My Brains And Face Onto The Wall With A Double Barrel Shotgun Of Doom |
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32.
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Cover Every Inch Of My Heinous Body With Nicotine Patches |
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33.
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Cover Every Inch Of My Heinous Body With Leeches |
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34.
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Convince A Horse To Date Rape Me So That When I Give Birth Out My Anus And It Comes Out As A Centaur, I Have A Heart Attack |
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35.
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Dress Me Up Like A Cow So That When Cowboys Brand The 50 Ways Grave-And-Thumbs-Up Logo On Me It Burns So Bad That I Pass Away And Enter Heaven |
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36.
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Feed Me To 130 Starving Cats |
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37.
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Catch Me In Your Store's Dumpster Seeking Fresh Trash To Eat, Get Offended By It, And Turn On The Trash Compactor |
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38.
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Hand Me My Guitar So I Shred Riffs Of Devastation, Causing Volcanic Eruptions And Lightning To Strike Me Down With Grim Force More Deadly Than The Lig |
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39.
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Build Me A Car With A Keyboard And Mouse Instead Of A Steering Wheel So That I Drive Through A Carpal Tunnel |
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40.
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Put Dynamite Sticks In My Birthday Cake Instead Of Candles So That When I Blow Them Out And Make A Gnarly Deth Wish It Comes True |
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41.
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Tie Me To The Train Tracks So A Most Unearthly Choo Choo Train Comes And Splits My Body Causing My Intestines To Stretch For Miles |
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42.
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Use Totally Abominable Black Magic To Turn Me Into A Chicken So That I Get Made Into Nuggets |
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43.
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Sand Down My Slap-Bracelet So When I Go To Slap It Onto My Wrist, My Hand Gets Cut Off And My Own Hand Flips Me The Middle Finger As I Perish |
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44.
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Strap Weight To My Body And Make Me Ice-Skate On Thin Ice |
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45.
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Have A Surfer Make A Noose For Me So I Can Hang Ten |
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46.
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Lock Me In A Freezer |
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47.
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Lock Me In An Oven |
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48.
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Pay For My College So That I Become A Most Triumphantly Wise And Skilled Doctor, Then When I Perform An Abortion, Radical Pro-Lifers Hunt Me Down And |
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49.
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Decapitate Me, Hollow Out My Head, Put A Candle In It And Put It On Your Door Stop On Halloween |
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50.
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Leave Me In The Desert To Rot, For My Barbarically Excellent Suicidal And Bloodthirsty Escapade Of Deth Has Now Ended... |
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